Spend a good half an hour online this morning ordering a Birth Certificate. (It seems my Certified Copy will not be accepted by the British Passport Office).

Praise where praise is due, they've done their best to make the process unnecessarily complicated. You have to register, set up an account, create yet another password (a minimum number of letters and at least two non-alphabetic symbols), give personal details and so on and so on. There's a set fee and then an additional amount for postage (a higher amount if you want a speedy delivery). And of course my netbook starts to threaten me with low battery warnings at the crucial moment when the credit card transaction is about to go through. All this to prove I am me (if you see what I mean).

Once upon a time you could send a letter or telephone. Maybe you still can but I hate to think of the call options, muzak and holding time you'd have to suffer.

I wonder how many people simply give up in despair. (And perhaps that's the idea).

It reminds me of last week's experience in the supermarket. I'm queuing when an assistant beckons me to another check-out. I assume she'll open a till and scan my items - no, it's a Self Scan. I explain I don't want to use this system - preferring the luxury of an actual human being checking things through. Not listening, the assistant explains that this is a much more efficient system and (rather patronisingly) she'll show me how to use it. I assure her that I know how the thing works (and frequently doesn't) and for this very reason I prefer to stand in line - tedious as it may be. She persists. Beginning to wonder whether I need to be rude to get the point across (never easy, given my French), I ask whether she realises the system is designed to make her redundant? Blank stare. However, she knows when she's beaten and agrees - this one time, Monsieur - to check the items through.

A minor victory - but not really. Once again you're left with that bitter taste in the mouth of a system being created that diminishes your (and the other person's) life.